Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
