Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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