There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
