I'm eating all of the evidence.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
