my mouth tastes like poor choices
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
