so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
