I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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