I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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