His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
