is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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