No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
