I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
