Sry I called you an 8
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
dude. I can hear the air.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
