I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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