pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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