Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize