I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
