So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
