awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My feet surprised me
Randomize
