you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
