she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
