You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
