I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
