I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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