I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
