Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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