i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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