No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
