I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
