Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
