please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
