omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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