I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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