HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
