who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
