...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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