Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
