honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
