So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
