I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
