More tranny stories later!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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