I want to stick my p in your. b.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
