First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I AM VODKA MAN
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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