Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
