I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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