Duck Duck Cougar?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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