Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
