He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's never too late to be topless.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
