Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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