I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
